beyond mortal

You Can Be Rapture Ready
for the End Time Too

Like a million little pixies we work day and night folding, pleating and vaccuum packing Rapture Ready Wet Wipes for customers all over the world.
Since our founding in 1996 our reach extends to ministries of all fundamentalist and evangelical denominations.

At present we service:

South Korea
Phillipine Islands

Affiliations and References

Of particular interest is our affiliation with the World Order of
Professional Dogmatologists.

The School of Ecclesiastical Sciences, School of Biblical Studies, Bible Languages & Speaking in Tongues, Practical Theology, Ecclesiology and Dogmatology Studies has adoped as require articles of faith, for all incoming faculty, Rapture Ready Wet Wipes.

The one advantage of selling to Schools of Dogmatology, is that choice and doubt is foregone as Dogmatologists are not given to changing their minds.

We here at Rapture Ready wonder:
How do you teach Dogmatology?
How much emphisis does one place on tenants you know to be correct inorder to convey to a aspiring dogmatologist? To clinch that leap of dogmatological faith is a delicate business; not easy to sensitize a fervent believer to the true faith without frightening the supplicant to death.
We have concluded Dogmatology must be easy to teach because you are either with with us or against us. So without terror, torture, corhersion, imprisionment or impalement, Dogmatology must be taught to the choir; willing empty vessels to be filled with the glory of truth through faith alone.

Dr. Thaddeus Quella Emeritus Professor of Dogmatology has endorsed Rapture Ready Wet Wipes as required Rapture Wear. The formost Dogmatologist in the field of Dogmatology has endorsed Rapture Wear to facilitate the saved in transition. Handi Rapture Ready Wet Wipes are to be carried by all faculty and students of Dogmatology.
At all times Dogmatologists must have Rapture Ready Wet Wipes on their person.

Inspired author, John Hagee of Jerusalem Countdown, is a deep thinker and strong advocate for the redeeming quality of Rapture Wear.

Endorcements: Christian Zionist, John Hagee
Christians United For Israel
Cufi Leader, John Hagee has his regular orders of special Hagee Rapture Ready Wear. His Super Hagee King-Size Rapture Ready Wear is popular for those who expect the Lord to do some heavy-lifting.

McCain and Hagee Rapture Ready
McCain and Hagee at a Cufi Rapture Ready Rally

John Hagee of CUFI was an early adopter of Rapture Ready Rapture Wear, now, John McCain is onboard too. There is hope for them, is there hope for you?

End Time Rapture Ready handi wet wipes and adult diapers are the perfect fit for you.

Rapture Ready wet wipes and adult diapers are ready to go the distance for you.

Are you among those who will be left behind? be ready with our official rapture ready handi wipes and adult diapers

the end time can be sublime or may be filled with tribulation and trepidation, protect yourself from embaressing shocks to the system.

Order: Tribulation Rations
Rapture Ready
Power Bars

Share the Rapture Booty,
Rapture Ready Power Bars are available too. 100% organic, all natural, power. Nutrient rich Rapture bars will deliver you to the promised land refreshed and brimming with humility.

Unfortunately, The Supreme Cognitive Entity Knowingly Smiles on all Gods Children. It's not fair but it's something we have to live with.

Rapture Ready

The shock to the system for which no one can be amply prepared Rapture Ready or not.

Rapture Readiness is not rocket science or prosperity theology but a belief in Endtime Prophecy; a glass half full is not a glass half empty. Rapture Readiness is neither.

Kudzu in Mississippi
Keeping the kudzu beat back is not just a job for the goats in Mississippi. The Power of Prayer trumps mortal fallibility, vanquishing the moral hazard of faith.

Forcing God's Hand, Kudzu Eradication in Mississippi through prayer
Kudzu Crucifix,  prayer management works
Another miracle, Kudzu eradication through prayer management successes

But it's not easy

It's not easy to petition the Lord with prayer, it takes dicipline, adherence to Dominion Theology and a strict schedule for the power of prayer to hit hard –– it has to be heard.

This field of Kudzu had rendered our crucifixes unidentifiable, however, after six months of prayer, one cross is on the mend. As can be seen the second crucifix was decimated before we could repair the damage, the third cross disappeared under the vail of Kudzu five years ago.

The Power and Mystery of Faith
When practicing prayer management it's good to start with baby steps. Try to accomplish simple tasks before taking on monumental accomclishments through managed prayer sessions.
Try to raise or levitate simple objects. Your prayer group could try to levitate something simple like paper clip or a feather. From success in these reasonably simple accomplishments you and your group can, with confidence, apply this skill to more challenging feats of faith.
Remember start simple and let your energy flow to good works for your creator. The power is yours and follow your bliss.

Agape: A visit to our Rapture Ready Headquarters
Rapture Ready World Headquarters

Rapture Ready World Headquarters, summertime offices and shop


Rapture Ready Wet WipesDogmatology Requirement
repair to be rapture ready with wet wipes, handi for the Tribulation too

When it's time for the End Time, will you be ready? Whether you are destine to Rapture or not, it's good to be prepared for either occasion. The Tribulation will occur with thundering speed, a lurch of reality will beset all humanity, one must be prepared with Rapture Ready Handi wipes and Adult Diapers, as you must know, a shock to the system can cause loss of control. Be ready for the trip –– be Rapture Ready. They say it will happen in the blink of an eye with little warning –– Don't be left behind.|
Rapture Ready Paraphernalia designed to make your celestial transition smooth, effortless and free from embarrassment.

Will the End Times be as advertised or will it be a "Is that all there is" experience. It's up to you to make it what it can be. Just Do It and go with the flow to avoid congestion and everything will be Ok.

When Forcing God's Hand, you know the Tribulation will be wet work for most, Apostates, infidels and gentiles will be squashed like bugs while the chosen will pass through the veil into The Promised land with barely a whimper;
They will be drawen through the etherial vortex with little material distortion. Be among the chosen. It does't hurt to Be Really Rapture Ready . . .

When I think of the hereafter that comes with the rapture, I too think in pink and blue. Yes, Rapture Readiness is shared by humanity's wish to arrive fresh, smelling sweet and brimming with humility. Please Help with the Bernie Madoff Defense Fund.
The Supreme Cognitive Entity Knowingly Smiles on all Gods Children until the Rapture is upon us..

Adult Rapture Wear is Ready
Don't be left behind to become the Spawn of Satan

Rapture Ready Tribulation Wear
Rapture wear: Handi Rapture Ready Diapers for mature men and women of faith.


Order Now

Do you have what it takes to be rapture ready? We have what it takes to make you Rapture Ready. Rapture Ready Diapers automatically disolve upon completion of levitation leaving you fresh and as naked as the day you were born.
Be sure to stipulate size, When ordering note whether you wish an iPod and cell phone pocket.
All Jews must enclose a notorized certificate of religious conversion.

Yes, Baby Rapture Wear can be special orderd.


Send for our helpful Rapture Ready Power Point CD for the one, two, three on all aspects of Rapture Readiness.

Fitting doctrine to destiny, Rapture Ready Paraphernalia are sanctioned and certified Ready to Rapture Products.
Be Ready for the end –– God only knows if the End Time is ready for you to be through with toilet humor.

The Whole World In Hand

For 1600 years the Jesus People have held dominion over our planet. As stewards, the Christian Evangelicals, arrogantly, now see their thinking might be a touch flawed. So, now the Evangelicals have decided to hold the whole world in their hands, and network and flit about saving us from their earlier handi-work through prayer management. However laudable the effort of undoing what should have never been done seems an exercise torn right from the sweet low hanging fruit of the Good Book..
It is hoped this flurry of manic penitence will create more consumption by all the prayer meetings, singing, dancing, chanting and gatherings to promote the Evangelical Cause. There is a general smugness in knowing that being a part of the solution is also part of the problem. Speaking to the converted (in tongues or not) is of course a must do for Christian Evangelicals networking 'The WORD' while "praying for the end-time –– NO PROBLEM for Evangelicals."
Duplicitous, yes, not too smart, yes, fundamentally un-fundamental, yes but what the heck it's the Jesus Movement and "We are the Answer."
John Calvin say,
'Taa da da ta da da da and Look busy, you are being watched."
John Calvin

Thanks John Calvin where ever you are?

Stay tuned for Forcing God's Hand Creation Care Progress Report.

Soul Scrubbing, The Mormon Franchise

Real Estate
in Heaven

Mormons have
descovered the ultimate business model, the infinite real estate deal, a place for all to gather whether dead or alive no matter how you were recruited,
the Mormon Apostolic Holding Pen always has more room in the tub for
more souls to scrub.


Mormon Heaven, another spiritual enterprise
Mormon Franchise for absolute truth
Liberty through Obedience with Mormon Magic

Think Tank Talk, think tank think: Tank-think Talk .
Mormon Evolution, the Mormon Metamorphosis, Mormon Neurology and
brain case modifation all comes together in the hereafter. In the Celestial Afterlife Mormon Men keep things tidy at their Apostolic Stud Farm.


All Tribals Unite to Agape
Tribals Unite

It is hoped that we humans will leave a planet to people
who will think a little more and breed a little less.
Can we abide by respecting the Persistence of doubt?


Since we stooped to stand from a crawl. . .
Things haven't been the same.



The Whole World In Hand Evangelical Environmentalism Celebration
Happy Birthday John Calvin
1509 – 2009
Earth In Hand: Happy Birthday John Calvin
Save the Planet Project by Forcing God's Hand, fixing that grievous wound with faith. He has the whole world in his hands.

The Mormon Franchise
for the Mormon Apostolic Holding Pen

One might ask:
why pick on the Mormons and
that's a fair question

One might say because, as a metaphor, it's easy. When shaping a short treatise on self deception to model all organized religion why not choose a no brainer . . .
Mormonism is "in the religion making business," just another franchise
like Starbucks but without the coffee.
Do the math.


Ready Rapturers
Late to the Alter

If evangelicals believe they are the most prepared –– the most Rapture Ready, take another look. Mormons claim to be much better rapturers, "The Latter-day saints" (mormons) have been at Rapture Readyness for a long time. Seems between the two of you, there might be some means to the end.
Mediation is the answer:
Mormons are the most Rapture Ready, Evangelicals came late yet still claim to be early adopters but, prhaps, they are too late to the alter –– maybe too late. How does this work anyway, yet another apostolic holding pen to divine the real ready rapturers –– no doubt?

Thaddeus Quella

Rapture Ready rapture dervish
rapture dervish
copyright Scari©2007
all rights reserved Scari.Org
rapture ready goddess
Handi Rapture Ready Wet Wipes available in lavender and lilac scent for the feminist lense and sensitive men of taste.
Rapture Ready Rapture Booty Snack Bars are 100% packed with Rapture Nutrients and lots of sprinkles and glitter.